This week I had my first counselling session in about 4 years. Whilst this wasn’t for anything particularly critical, it is something I have wanted to do for ages to better understand myself, try and unravel some issues I have, and as an active step in managing my depression.
I first went to counselling at UWE when I was referred by a doctor to the university wellbeing services. At that point, I had hit a critical low after almost a year of the “I’m fine” façade. I went for a few sessions but didn’t really have the energy or drive to keep going.
As I completed uni and made my way into the working world, I knew that I didn’t want to close the door on therapy. The uni had quite rightly given me some self-help methods to help me cope in times I felt unable to, but there wasn’t much in the way of delving into my issues, actions, and things that contributed to how I felt – I basically felt that I needed psychotherapy that was going to be more proactive and would help me to dig a bit deeper.
So, earlier this year I had the full intention of booking sessions again, and at the start of July I found a counsellor who has a humanistic and integrative approach which I felt would fit well with what I was looking for.
I felt sick with nerves before my first session, with no idea if we’d get on, or if I’d be able to explain what led me to counselling, how depression has impacted me, what problems I’m having.
But – I DID IT!!
My thought of the initial counselling session
After my session, I came out feeling relieved. Overwhelmed, but relieved and like some weight had been lifted.
I had managed to offload an absolute tonne of information and went through everything from childhood, to uni, to relationships, up until the present with work and Scott leaving to go and work on a cruise ship. I’d never imagined that I could unload so much on to a complete stranger within such a short space of time – but I think this had been a long time coming and was definitely needed!
To be honest, I’m really looking forward to seeing what comes from this and how I can develop personally and begin to understand why I think, feel, and act the way I do at times.
For me, talking therapies are useful because of the way my brain works, so I’m hoping this could be my first steps towards muddling through some of the chaos and the pain.
Have you ever tried any therapy methods? Let me know what you find useful/not useful 😊